Here is one that I saw on a sign while traveling through a town in Missouri:

"Have a nice day, if someone hasn't screwed it up already."

Dan

Or this...

Lack of adequate planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.

It's tough to remember that when you are up to your behind in Alligators, that the original objective was to drain the swamp.

Automatic bilge pumps won't.

The chances of the bread falling jelly side down is directly relative to the cost and color of the carpet.

"NO WAKE" doesn't apply to the drunk on the jet ski.

Just a couple of the many I have.

Bryan- Hit us with some more. We can always use a few more quotable quotes.

Merry Christmas. And thanks for posting.
JoeMo

A couple more;

Son to father--"YES, I DID CHECK THE PLUG!!" (personal experience)

It was a beautiful cast, it just out distanced the water.

How about a couple more...

I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather... not screaming and
yelling like the passengers in his car!

God must love stupid people; He made so many of them

He who dies with the most toys is still dead

HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a
pig

a favorite of mine...The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson

Point and CLICK! That one I like.

By the way, I'm a Grandfather. lol Joe

Joe--Glad you got a chuckle out of them, I try to be as light hearted as I can. I try to remember that if I can't have fun doing something, I must be doing it wrong!